03/15/2003
This is a review of wildvanilla.diary-x.com.
Content - 36/75pts.
[-]Execution - 10/45pts. Uh oh. My favorite entry wasn't written by you. Read it over again, will you?
I was going to comment at first that it's a little bit ridiculous to have to read advice about how to write one's journal. But then that would imply that it is just as ridiculous to give advice, and what else am I doing? Instead, I'll simply point out the fact that you do not do what the article tells you to do in your journal. You don't do it at the beginning of your journal (and this isn't your first journal either) and you don't do it towards the last few entries.
For example, what is this less than enthralling entry but a list of train times?
I tried to be fair. I didn't read entries titled "Gah, I hate my Guestbook" and "My Dog Urinated on My Computer."
But still I found myself reading entry after entry about assignments and dogs and carpet cleaning. I felt impatient. I felt like I was rereading a summary of a spin-off of a bad cartoon based on an even worse movie. Okay, it wasn't THAT bad. But it was like high school. By the time you're a senior, you've met every sort of person there is to meet and have had every sort of class there is to have. And they're still telling you who signed the Magna Carta and who went with whom to Homecoming. And you're still writing about procrastinating on your assignments.
A lazy nothing entry told me that you saw LOTR and also that you saw it fit to write about it afterwards. Boo.
I was going to go slash-happy because you had yet to make me laugh OR make me sympathize. But then I stumbled upon this entry about abandoning friends. I love abandoning friends too! They never put up a fight. I think it's because I keep criticizing their grammar.
Anyway, most of your entries aren't like that. Most of them complain about your diary. Well. Your diary is such an important part of your life that you write about your diary in your diary? Okay. And the layout? Hrm.
In this entry, you discuss some other review site. Humph. (I hate you because you DARE GO TO ANOTHER review site. When I exist, this is a travesty.)
You said in this entry that you want people to read your words and not just look at your (rather lovely) layout. Well! I'd LOVE to read your words. But your words don't say anything. There is nothing deep or revealing. There are no clever jokes about French Canadians. There are, really, no words that can impress me as much as your beautiful layout does.
PS - did you ever finish that November Novel? That was the sort of thing you should have written but you left out. That is bad. Don't leave us hanging, it makes your journal incomplete.
[-]Grammar/Mechanics - 6/10pts. You spelled disappointment wrong here so many times that I thought my eyeballs would IMplode. (In short, there would be an implosion of my eyeballs.) That and a few typos.
[-]Readability - 10/10pts. Just fine.
[-]Style - 10/10pts. Also dandy.
Layout - 9/10pts.
[-]Aesthetics - 5/5pts. Clean, pretty.
[-]Navigability/Legibility - 4/5pts. Okay, fine "addictive" means "archives." I'd rather see it on the navigation bar though.
Contact - 5/5pts.
Updates - 3/5pts. Herm. You must have at least fifteen a month.
Errors - 4/5pts. There is a forward slash after the link to your guestbook.
Total - 57/100pts. This grants you a home in the "bad" section. One or two interesting entries, but overall, your diary feels like a record of your assignments and diary layout/hosting issues. (I wanted to hear more about your fat neighbor.) Good luck with your diary.
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