03/15/2003
This is a review of wigmo.diaryland.com.
Content - 21/75pts.
[-]Execution - 10/45pts. I say that I want emotion. But really, I just want to be presented with something new and interesting. Something full of sex. (That's a joke. Because "sex" isn't new at all. And for most people, it's stopped being interesting. See?)
And you seem to be the sort of person who may feel emotions but may not, also. Yawn. You're coming into your own. In about twenty years, you will cover your face in shame to read this bio, but, well, in twenty years, this journal will be forgotten, as will this review, as will even Diaryland, I think. In the interim, you'll have had three or four other journals. I say this because you're the sort of person who makes a lot of other journals.
You had 225 entries and 31 reviews. The cost of viewing your diary? Free. Ha, ha.
I don't like it when people number off their diary entries instead of providing a real subject title. I'll just read every five. This means points off for you. Do you know what it means when I say "I just read every five"? It means there was nothing that made me want to read your diary entries. Because you're just like everyone else, your mannerisms, your idea of life, your freedom fries jokes. Sigh.
You're chock full of newsy teenage stories. (And here's another one.) I never understood that sort of life. What do all of you people grow up to do? (Why do you people think that smelling like a cucumber is attractive?) Anyway, the stories remind me of those sitcoms that I don't watch and those conversations that I don't want to have.
After that entry, I became even more fidgety, so I decided I'd only read every tenth entry. What is this? Free association prose? I'm going to gouge out my eyeballs. Okay! Every twenty-fifth entry!
This diary would have been a lot better if this was the only entry there. Har, har. (By the way, I don't like reading other people's inside jokes. Hey. I hate it. I hate it more than I hate Weezer.)
I don't understand this entry. I thought that finally you'd give people a little insight into you. Did I note the word theme in the entry? No. I didn't. I don't KNOW YOU, so I can't note the word theme. I can't read your mind.
You expect me to read your mind, and that makes this diary a dull read. Stop writing like that. Or don't stop writing like that. (Maybe it's to keep your little friends amused. This is fine, but it isn't going to get you high review scores.)
[-]Grammar/Mechanics - 0/10pts.
Shift key?
Also, there were other problems. Apostrophe problems. For example, here: "We have a pet toad who's name is Joanna..." NO! Don't say "who's" when you really mean "whose"!
On the same page... "I trounced over to the thrift store..." Did you know that "trounce" actually means "to thrash, to beat, or to defeat decisively"? Guess not.
**Note** - after I posted this, wigmo dot Diaryland informed me that this was an Internet ad-lib thing. Okay. But she should A.) not have posted it and B.) fixed the errors if she was going to post it.
[-]Readability - 7/10pts. Is it the teenager in you that causes you to use words like "trounce" incorrectly? It makes you sound so pretentious.
[-]Style - 4/10pts. Traditional teenage pain style. (Joke - it's like "Puritan plain style." Get it? Ha, ha.) Here, the very first entry, you show exactly how you'll write for the rest of the diary. I sighed a large sigh. "And now [you] just write crap." Yep.
Layout - 9/10pts.
[-]Aesthetics - 5/5pts. Nice.
[-]Navigability/Legibility - 4/5pts. Your font's too small and fat.
Contact - 5/5pts. Yee-haw.
Updates - 5/5pts. Ride that punk machine.
Errors - 5/5pts. I like eating cucumbers.
Total - 45/100pts. Dear teenager: You seem to have mastered everything that makes a diary good except the diary part, where you write lovely, moving, sad confessions about your life. Hence the "bad" rating.
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