03/31/2003
Welcome to Triage.
This is here to make your life easier. This is here to make your review better. This is here to reject you.
I hate going to review sites (period. Ha, ha) and reading "wah, I'm up to my armpits in requests, wah" and then blah, blah, blah about not accepting requests. My goodness. Pete's goodness. It's ridiculous.
And triage is meant to prevent that from occurring at my site. And, oh, how it does.
Here's how triage works. The same day that you request a review on my site, I take a cursory glance at your site. If it bores me or if I feel that it would bore me, I'll send you an e-mail telling you that I hate you and I want to eat your children's faces. This e-mail makes people huffy. I can't imagine why! That's even more ridiculous! As if you've a right to my reviews. (Just kidding. You do.)
But I've got to find time for sanity. And I can't review everyone, obviously.
So, I put people through triage. And people who lose at triage are told that I am declining their request for a diary review. I list some reasons. If you're rejected, you'll receive this e-mail. Don't panic if you do! Just delete it and move on with your life.
Here are the reasons (all or some or one may be applicable to the rejected ones):
-The diary is a poetry diary. (I hate poetry. Why would you want a review from a person who hates poetry?)
-I can't stand to read more than two or three of the entries.
-The person probably wouldn't read the review.
-The person has already been reviewed over a hundred times.
-The person requested reviews at sites that are retarded. (Listen. If you wanted a review that offered thoughtful critiques, you would not be able to get over five or six reviews. Most sites do NOT thoughtfully critique. It's in protest that I started my site - why waste my efforts on someone who doesn't want it and won't appreciate it?)
-The person only requested the review to get more hits.
-The person obviously hadn't read any of my other reviews.
I judge SOLELY (or pretty much solely) on how much I like or dislike your CONTENT. If this bothers you, then don't request! Simple enough, eh?
I don't apologize for putting people through triage, even if they are the loser for it. Usually, the losers have been reviewed by every other review site out there. They must LIVE at Review-List. Jee-sus. Anyway, I'm sure it's no inconvenience for them.
I send the e-mail so people will know to take the link off of their site.
If you receive the letter and you feel that I am incorrectly declining your review, please, by all means, reply and ask for me to reconsider.
You can read the scoring guide and other rules (there are no other rules) on that link. You can register by clicking here. G'day, and happy journaling to you.
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