04/13/2003
This is a review of starrianglx.diary-x.com (now defunct).
Content - 10/75pts.
[-]Execution - 5/45pts. The first thing I noticed was that you password-protected an entry that shouldn't have been. And then you referred to it again and again. It always makes me feel a little nauseated to see kids writing about other diary entries in their diary entry. The self-perpetuating idiocy sickens me. In the meantime, I still have no idea what illness you had.
I really cannot stand it when kids use the number row symbols to replace words that should be shouted at the tops of their lungs. If you're going to be uneducated and unimaginative enough to use expletives, at least give them the justice of actually saying them. Where's the impact in a string of ampersands and pound signs?
And you don't sound as though you're in a better mood. You sound scary, actually.
Opinion Number One: this is a stupid idea for jerk-offs who don't have anything of value to write.
Opinion Number Two: See above. (By the way, I figured that it was mono. But, in any case, you should tell us whether the mono was boyfriend induced or Coke can related. Who cares if you're behind in your homework? Yawn.)
Please don't.
Where are the diaries of the fifty-year-olds? I need a sensible read.
No one ever takes my advice. Sigh.
The rest of that entry is so dull. Mattress purchasing. My neck hurts. I have a cold. And I have to read about some kid purchasing a mattress? She can't even spell "mattress." There should be laws.
Instead of babbling incoherently about how you don't have anything to write, why don't you talk about your tutor and his wily methods of seducing you? (Or her wily methods? I haven't seen any mention of the tutor so I can't say.) Or, better yet, you could just not write in your diary at all.
It's so strange that your mother will allow you to use heroin but refuses to let you try ecstasy, unless you're dying. (It was only by luck that I encountered that sentence in that otherwise pointless entry.)
You changed your name? Why? Changing your name is such a pointless thing to do.
Apparently, your mother lets you date strange boys you meet online. Why'd you call it a "rant" though?
I'm rejected and hurt. I think I've justified my execution score at this point. Advice - write more about your mother and less about your diary.
[-]Grammar/Mechanics - 0/10pts. My poor little eyeballs fell out when I read this piece of drivel.
Where's the shift key?
Where's the apostrophe? ["lets see"]
How dare you use the word "cuz"?
In case you weren't aware, periods and commas go on the INSIDE of quotation marks, not the outside. Exclamation points and question marks go on the outside, unless they're a part of the quotation.
Your spelling is atrocious. "Concedited"?
[-]Readability - 1/10pts. In that same entry, there were several sentences which ended with multiple exclamation points!! That, of course, not only removes any emphasis you might have hoped to get for the sentence, but also annoys me.
Additionally, there isn't really a distinction between paragraphs in those early entries, making reading the diaries even more difficult. You skip lines between paragraphs now, which is much better, but the older entries are a pain. And it's not as if newer entries are worth more than older entries. They're all the same. Go fix your older ones.
This is a really long paragraph. I couldn't read it.
[-]Style - 4/10pts. The traditional teenage whine style. I do not approve.
Layout - 9/10pts.
[-]Aesthetics - 5/5pts. The eye is creepy, and I hate contacts which do pointless things like that. It makes me shudder.
[-]Navigability/Legibility - 4/5pts. Your font is too small. It's TOO SMALL.
Contact - 5/5pts.
Updates - 5/5pts.
Errors - 4/5pts. The entries for April 9th and 6th don't have brackets around the titles on the archive page.
Total - 33/100pts. Teenagers always want labels, and anything under a sixty makes you "bad." Going under forty makes you "super bad." Isn't that exciting? What's your mom's problem with ecstasy? It's such an arbitrary drug to hate, especially since it promotes vegetarianism.
Previous - Next - Back to Top
|
|