04/04/2003
This is a review of nahima.diary-x.com.
Content - 42/75pts.
[-]Execution - 25/45pts. You wrote: Sorry, that had nothing to do with anything. But then again, that's what a blog is for, I guess. Wrong!. People think that way about "blogs" because people use them so pointlessly. And you only cheapen blogs even more if instead of carefully planning what you write, you blabber incoherently about irrelevant subjects.
There is no justification.
The rest of the entry was a long paragraph (I hate long paragraphs) about governmental conspiracies. Why are we fighting against Iraq? And other similar questions. And we could apparently tell that you'd watched a movie called "JFK." I couldn't tell, actually. And your description of the movie told me nothing about the movie that I couldn't have guessed from the title. It's like describing "Babe" as a movie about "screwy things happening to a pig." Great! It's like describing "The Royal Tenenbaums" as "screwy things happening to a family."
You managed to arouse sympathy by this entry. Aww, poor kid.
However, this entry did nothing of the kind. For sweet Pete the Donkey's sake, you're in middle school. Homework isn't that difficult. Or, even if it is, complaining about homework never makes for interesting diary entries. No one cares because everyone knows that a day or two after you turn in the assignment, it won't matter anymore, not even to you.
Try a thought experiment. Click on the link and see if you give a rat's whisker.
But then this is true enough and will be applicable for months to come.
And then you aroused sympathy again with your moving house woes. It is the real feeling that goes into the entries in which you don't whine about homework that makes them better. Mostly, however, it's just that everyone has homework and it doesn't reassure us to read about other people's homework troubles. It's just homework.
Stick with analyzing life instead of reporting homework, and you'll go far.
[-]Grammar/Mechanics - 2/10pts. You're not careful, and you have a lot of errors, mostly due to typos.
Here: Yet, unless you have a brother or sister near you age
Here: I'm...well, no where close
Here: real screwy evidence agains a conspiracy in the government. [Do you mean "screwy evidence supporting the suspicion of conspiracy"? In this case, why would the evidence be "against" it?]
Here: You're no strange to this situation.
Here: The neighbor's must wonder.
Here you began in second person and then switched to third. Later in the same entry, you used the word "tiredness." You mean EXHAUSTION. "Tiredness" isn't a word.
Here, in the third paragraph, you wrote "aqquaintence" (acquaintance) and "juvenille" (juvenile) and "someon" (typo).
[-]Readability - 8/10pts. I disapprove of IM conversations. There's only one, but it's your latest entry. Don't make it a habit. Just summarize what happened instead of pasting them into your entry without editing them.
Other than that, you are readable. Good job.
[-]Style - 7/10pts. Why the yelling here? I thought that it was going to be an interesting, involved discussion of school/female competition, but you unfortunately just report the action without delving into why you people do that.
And then there was the JFK entry, in which you paid much attention to the word screwy.
You write well. It seems affected at times, but you'll get over that one day. Abandon the adjective "screwy," by the way.
Layout - 8/10pts.
[-]Aesthetics - 5/5pts. My eyes didn't scream in protest, so you get full credit. Good job to you. However, the guestbook didn't really seem to match the diary, if you care about that sort of thing. But at least I could see the scrollbar.
[-]Navigability/Legibility - 3/5pts. Your font isn't too small! Celebrate!
However, the links are dark green against black. That's just unkind to your reader. And I hate it when people don't make the visited links a different color on their archive page. It's a bad habit that most diarists have.
A person cannot see your scrollbar. I usually use the wheel on my mouse, but I still like to know about how long each entry is before I begin to read it. And poor choice of colors in scrollbars makes this difficult.
I hate making scrollbars different colors. Just let it default.
Contact - 5/5pts.
Updates - 5/5pts.
Errors - 4/5pts. On the "Me" page, the link to your "brief autobiography" is misspelled.
Total - 64/100pts. And that's mediocre. By the way, you're a nerd. Hah.
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