03/31/2003
This is a review of mudshark1013.diary-x.com.
Content - 46/75pts.
[-]Execution - 30/45pts. I read a lot of the entries. Your first entry was pointless and dull. Once, a little girl told me that her diary entries from months ago shouldn't be used against her because she was frickin' fifteen then, and I thought, but, my gosh, I didn't write like a retard with a peanut up my snottiness when I was fifteen. So, anyway, your first entry was boring. I feel entirely justified in writing that because it's still taking up space on the server, and now it's taking up space on my computer unless I clear that history file.
I'm sure you've learned your lesson by now. But if your day is uneventful, don't write about it.
Then I fast-forwarded.
How I would comfort a teenager who goes through this problem: Eh, whatever, kiddo. They'll break up next week anyway, BOOM! But here's my beef with the entry. You said: I did have a rather pleasant conversation with him about lacquered saxophones. Haha.. Uh, yeah. Har, har. (I don't get it. Why's it funny?)
Band jokes told by band kids pull people's monkeys. It may be that I just hate band kids and have always hated band kids and will always hate band kids. But it surely is that band kids ACT like you do! They BEG to be hated, with their esoteric and idiotic lacquered-saxophone jokes.
On this page, you say, after spending about half an hour whining, that you hate it when you're whiny. Only you misspelled "whiny." You know what? I hate it too. Fast-forward some more.
I like birds, but do you have to yell when you talk about band? Yes. Actually, yes, you do have to yell. And this is why I hate band kids.
In good news, although the whining about the boy who appears to have graduated is frequent, your entries aren't as repetitive as they could be. Sometimes, you upset me by tainting your love with references to band, like in the entry linked with the word "graduated."
This entry was pointless. I could almost hear you say "woot." And then imagine God smacking you.
And then, you promised more later, but there was none later.
Don't post lyrics or conversations. They're irrelevant. And I read the conversation (it was punishment), so I know for certain that it is irrelevant. And there is that "woot." Sigh.
I click on about every fourth or fifth entry. And in the latter half of 2002, almost every one of them had either pointless conversations or quiz results or BOTH! I'm not excited.
Thank you, 2003. I found, finally, an entry that shows what you're capable of writing, even if you did spell Reddi-Wip incorrectly.
I always wondered why people have this entry. It seems to be inevitable for most people. I feel out of the reaction-inducing loop. In any case, the reaction seems to do nice things for your writing - the story about the boy and your choir teacher? It kept me interested, possibly because it wasn't about band.
But if you kill Timothy McVeigh, are you a murderer?
Your stories have improved much. I'm impressed. This is a diametric change that makes me actually want to read your entries. However, since it only began about the middle of January 2003, the majority of your entries were dull homicide-inducing reminders about why I hate band kids. Your execution score would have been much higher if your entire diary was at the caliber of your last entries.
[-]Grammar/Mechanics - 6/10pts. From here I found myself having this reaction: shift key! Shift key!
Other than the shift key problems of your six-months-ago childhood, your grammar errors seemed to just be typos, for the most part.
[-]Readability - 3/10pts. A typical band kid conversation: We read the Little Tree book, and I explained the origin of the Elmo slap bracelet ("Ha ha ha, ha ha ha, that tickles! *BAM*")
A typical normal person reaction: Huh? What? Ah, forget it. (Moron.)
And I'm growling as I write because your entry titles have nothing to do with your actual entries, making it difficult for me to remember which entries I've read and which I haven't. Try writing relevant entry titles. Song titles are nice, but not as entry titles. Note - you don't really have a problem with this anymore. Good. I'm glad.
A word to add to your glossary: mads. Or, you know, instead of having a glossary, you could just write in ordinary, clear English that everyone can understand. But do band kids ever have sense? In our dreams! About twenty entries later, (in this one, about five paragraphs from the bottom) I suddenly realized that it means madrigals. Oh.
God, I hate smiley faces, and I hate anime kid smiley faces more than... band kids. Smiley faces are meant to be sideways. They're meant to look like :), and you're a freak because you use anime faces, and I hope this teaches you a lesson.
You used to have a bad habit of writing in all caps. It's hard to read.
Another word to add to your glossary: otakon. You're writing for your snot-nosed band kid friends again and not for your reviewer. For shame.
[-]Style - 7/10pts. It would have been a 10 if your diary started in January. Keep on doing what you're doing now.
Layout - 7/10pts.
[-]Aesthetics - 5/5pts. The colors don't hurt my eyes, so it gets a five. Way to go.
[-]Navigability/Legibility - 2/5pts. Pet peeve alert. First of all, you don't archive. You've got about a hundred entries sitting on one page.
And secondly, there is no way to tell which links've been clicked and which haven't. To fix this, you should change the color of visited links. Do this by adding a:visited{color: #666666} to your code on your archive page, right under where it says a{color:#000000}. This will turn your visited links gray. But! You don't want the links in your navigation bar to turn gray. So, you have to add <font color="black"> and </font> between the <a href="blahblah.html"> and </a> tags.
Your "current" link will look like this: <a href="journal.cgi?action=current"><font color="black">that which is</font></a><br>
You do the same for all of the links in your navigation bar. Simple enough, right?
And finally, your font is too small. Your font is TOO SMALL. And, darn it all, it uses CSS, so I've got to go through a lot more trouble to make it larger.
Contact - 5/5pts. Okay, I only hate band kids because they rejected me.
Updates - 5/5pts. Sometimes, they try to run me over in the school parking lot.
Errors - 2/5pts. Your very first entry doesn't seem to use your regular template. Same for this entry.
The images on this page and this page don't work. Doesn't look like it's your fault except to be silly enough to take online quizzes. Stop taking them!
The link to your review site still goes to Diaryland even though you abandoned poor old DL for Diary-x. Traitor.
You've got the "that which was" and "that which may yet be" bits on your archive page, even though they're not really links.
Total - 65/100pts. And that means a world of mediocrity. Every time you said "mads," I kept thinking "nads." And that's my closing comment.
Previous - Next - Back to Top
|
|