04/13/2003
This is a review of lindseyjtjtk.diaryland.com (now requires password). What on Earth do all those initials mean? I'll tell you - they mean that you couldn't think of an original handle!
Content - 15/75pts.
[-]Execution - 5/45pts. I hope that you two don't have babies, not really knowin' what you're doin'. You are repetitive when it comes to that confusing boyfriend of yours. You spent this entry discussing the weather and then talking about arguing with Jonathan. And then this one is about your pointless jealousy. Your self-analysis did not conclude "pointless." Your self-analysis concluded that you were a "hypocrite" because you liked someone else (hot pants... hah!).
A fun prediction - I bet Johnny boy's going to cheat on the diarist.
The "pointless" was my own conclusion, by the way, as all high school love is. I hate high schoolers and I hate that they have sex, making lots of little idiotic high school love-induced zygotes that grow up to have more sex. Disgusting.
You see, if you'd laughed at yourself for it (such as "hot pants"), I would grin and forgive you. But you actually take this seriously. It's astounding.
So, anyway, you are either selfishly dull and inconsequential or you are utterly pointless.
On this entry, you grumbled about a diary reviewer who hated your site. You said that what he wrote in your guestbook was uncalled for. (He wrote "May God have mercy on your soul.")
I just think that a diary which only discusses itself is self-perpetuating stupidity. Don't discuss reviews. Discuss your life. Discuss your optical mouse, what sort of underwear you own, the color of your carpet. But don't discuss your diary's reviews.
By the way, I'm bored out of my mind by your diary. It's not because I'm not "open-minded" that I don't enjoy your diary, it's because I have a mind. It needs excitement and stimulus. Maybe I'll go get a beer.
Oh, and here's yet another entry about Jonathan. Listen, I understand that the fellow's a big part of your life and your constant arguments were all that ever happened, but the problem isn't the subject matter. It's your diary. You're supposed to write about your boyfriend.
But you are not supposed to list your arguments like you list homework in your planner. Your entries are remarkably similar. You say the same words over and over, argued with the boy, I don't know why, argued with him again, blah, homework. Spare us, please.
Here is another pointless entry, AND it's about another argument.
Hot Pants has another crush. Read about good times here. She doesn't know if she's falling for him or not, but she hopes not because, in her words, "that would be bad!"
This is the best entry that you wrote. Write more like that, with raw human emotion packed into every single word. (Of course, I was highly amused because your "imood" is on "content.")
You were right. I don't like this. I'd hoped for a computer love affair. Sigh. Oh, well.
I dislike the together again entry because it's long, pointless, repetitive, and predictable. I hope you have a long happy relationship. Or whatever. (So much for Candace. Boo-yah to her.)
Conclusion - your diary sucks and I hate your content and your layout and you. Go die. Or at least stop writing. May God have mercy on your soul. (I have no mercy when I'm bored.)
I wish that you couldn't type so fast. Maybe you would have written less then. (I gave you five points because I really liked the break-up entry.)
[-]Grammar/Mechanics - 3/10pts. Don't leave your g's off the end of words. Going, not goin', especially if you leave off the apostrophe. It aggravates me. Oh, and you can't spell the word "aggravate."
At least is two words. You almost always write "at least" as "atleast," which annoyed me to no end.
On that same page, you wrote I play it better than her! You mean "than SHE."
Here, you wrote unless me and Heather have a big fight. Me fight. Me have big fight now.
Scoring? Five points off for leaving off every present participle's "g" and some more points for the other problems.
[-]Readability - 5/10pts. You used to write really long paragraphs. Even if you don't anymore, it'd be nice if you went back and broke those into more reasonable lengths.
And you wrote Jonathan doesn't have a problem with Theresa, but Theresa now has a problem with him because he has a problem with Heather. Oh, my goodness. Shut the hell up.
I'm just angry because I don't know what you're talking about.
Get rid of "lol," which I think is the new mark of the Devil.
[-]Style - 2/10pts. Part of your bad style is that you repeat what shouldn't be repeated. For example, in this entry, you wrote that your friend's choice of music amused you kids because it was the weirdest combination, and as if that didn't make it clear by itself (it doesn't, by the way. "Weird" is a non-word. Never use it again, not until you're older than, say, forty-three), you felt the need to tell us again that it was definitely the weirdest combination.
The other problem with your style is wordy pointlessness. For every ten words that you write, you could probably cut out eight. Look at your break-up entry for inspiration. It was the most poignant, meaningful entry, and it was only five words long.
Layout - 8/10pts.
[-]Aesthetics - 4/5pts. To remove: Weather Pixie, poll, stats (use some OTHER company for your stats. There are less ugly methods to stalk those who stalk you), imood, and days left until your birthday. All that junk is pointless stupidity.
[-]Navigability/Legibility - 4/5pts. Your font's too small.
Contact - 5/5pts.
Updates - 5/5pts.
Errors - 3/5pts. I don't know or care if you wrote this poem, but it sucks. And you don't know how to make it break lines properly. I would tell you how to fix it, but you probably don't care.
I hate Diaryland poetry.
Oh, so you DO know how to make poetry look right. Now, go fix the other entries.
Every entry from the beginning to this one is missing the drop-down navigation thing.
Total - 36/100pts. And that is solidly bad. Good luck, kiddo. May God have mercy on your hot pants.
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