03/30/2003
This is a review of dadagirl.diaryland.com.
Content - 41/75pts.
[-]Execution - 27/45pts. Two or three entries into your diary from the older end, I was already praying that you'd find a boyfriend. Whine and whine. I was hoping for comic relief because, really, one can't muster sympathy for woe-is-me-I-have-no-boyfriend. This entry, albeit whiny, had ample room for comic relief, what with your tom-licking fantasies. Unfortunately, his girlfriend's dyed hair distracted you from your joke, and it was never really made.
But those were your early entries. You moved on with life and love. And despite the fact that I hate bin Laden (well, when I'm not feeling overly apathetic, that is), I must say that you inspired me to find him, hug him, and kill him.
You are so innocent, it just beats all. The simplicity of the changes is rather refreshing, even though it sounds as if it'll begin to be the same old Cinderella story.
And what I said about comic relief? As your entries went on, I found some of them funny, but I wasn't sure if they were intended to be jokes. In any case, especially if they are serious, there is such a wry cynicism to them that, despite the inherent true-love-and-babies hopes, the reading is compelling.
But then all of your entries aren't up to that level. Take this one, for example. You describe everything as really sweet or the cutest or the best. For people who don't know you or the people whom you describe, this is uninteresting. Other entries are typical.
The last few months, especially, have been difficult for you. However, I feel as if I'm only reading half of the story, possibly because you have another journal, and you use this one for secret whining. While you may feel as though you are writing everything down properly (after all, you get to read both diaries), people who only read one diary or the other only receive half the treatment. It makes for holes. I want to sympathize, but it's difficult to do so if I don't really understand the plot.
You should consider giving up your "fake" diary, and you should devote all of your journaling time to just the real one, making it much more cohesive. There is potential for improvement.
[-]Grammar/Mechanics - 0/10pts. There are more than ten errors (most of them seem to be typos), so partial is impossible. Just skim your entries before posting them. Here are some of your errors.
From here: "Dada wuickly jumped out of her seat."
And the same page: "She had quite a few things on her plateat the moment and Fridaywas the only day she got a little rest from her weeks events"
From this page: "Sex isnt bad, its just that I reservations about it.
Same page: "I have this inherent reaf of sex."
Still same page: "They dont just drink they get wasted. I cant do that.I have never had alcohol in my life. I cant see my self consuming it."
Contractions have apostrophes. Come on, now.
[-]Readability - 7/10pts. Tell me if you can understand this - I'll go eat dinner with MF and hope that EO won't show up to kill LW, who likes IR.
No? Try this page. Just use their real names.
[-]Style - 7/10pts. Your style is not unique or interesting, but for some reason, I still find myself liking it. I suppose because while the simple, innocent style matches most of your topics, it also oversimplifies your sexual growth. And the oversimplification is an interesting way to look at the growth.
Layout -8 /10pts.
[-]Aesthetics - 5/5pts. I like your layout. Consider centering it. I think it'd look better when the browser window is maximized.
[-]Navigability/Legibility - 3/5pts. You should probably change the visited link color. The color it uses now is almost white, which is difficult to read against the light pink. Try #CC9999 instead. Or whichever color you'd prefer.
You've got all of 2002's entries on one older page. How about splitting them into half-years?
Also, the format of the date changes every few entries, especially on your 2002 archive page, which makes it difficult to determine which number is the month and which is the date. You're American. Use the conventional month/date/year. In any case, you should make all of the dates match.
Contact - 5/5pts.
Updates - 3/5pts. The middle and last months of 2002 were sorely lacking. You disappeared for all of November 2002.
Errors - 4/5pts. The first entry shows up twice on the archive page.
Some of your older entries still use the older layout. Let this be a lesson - never change layouts!
Total - 61/100pts. Your diary receives a "mediocre" label. Good luck with life, and good day to you.
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